Ping-Pong Skills Unleashed
Every once in a while, Josh convinces me to play ping-pong in the gym with him. (I’d like to mention that surrounding the two ping-pong tables are several large glossy posters from the 80’s of men and women clad in bright aerobics outfits, sweat bands and heavy make-up (a little extraneous detail to set the scene)).
Josh is much better than me; I ping the ball too high enabling him to slam it back down on my side so fast I can’t even see it go by. I only hear it bounce off the table and then turn around to retrieve it. So, it’s really more a game of fetch. Sometimes I try to engage him in conversation, but his responses are pretty limited: “Uh huh”, “really?” , “mm hmmm..”.
He squats way down, bites his bottom lip and mercilessly defeats me. Really the only reason I ever have points at the end of a match is if he gets “too greedy” and tries to smack the ball so hard that it misses the table completely.
That was then.
Tonight, something deep inside me shifted. (If you have ever played ping-pong against me before, I am going to ask you to ignore that memory in order to truly picture what I am about to describe). I stepped back and bent my knees until my eyes were in line with the table. And then it began... I smashed and cracked the ball wide and low---exacting it off edges, tapping it so lightly that it barely cleared the net. Josh didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, the competition was so stiff. At one point, his whole upper body flailed onto the table for a save. We impaled ourselves on corners, cursed out loud, and slapped our paddles so hard that it stung!
First match: 21-19 to Josh
Second match: 21-18 to Betsy (marking the first time I have ever beat anyone in ping-pong, including both my grandparents)
But then, something in the air changed. Literally. I don’t know if it was the flourescent lights or some kind of mold, but I began to sneeze uncontrollably. I could barely keep my eyes open. It turned into a ping-ponger's nightmare!
Third Match 21-14 to Josh (ouch)
I convinced Josh to play one more match to prove that the first two matches were not a fluke, that it was the sneezing that got me! The sneezing by gosh!! He agreed.
Fourth match 21-11 to Josh
Being a good sportsman, I nodded and accepted that my moments of ping-pong excellence were short lived...now faded into the past like sweat bands and leg warmers.
Josh is much better than me; I ping the ball too high enabling him to slam it back down on my side so fast I can’t even see it go by. I only hear it bounce off the table and then turn around to retrieve it. So, it’s really more a game of fetch. Sometimes I try to engage him in conversation, but his responses are pretty limited: “Uh huh”, “really?” , “mm hmmm..”.
He squats way down, bites his bottom lip and mercilessly defeats me. Really the only reason I ever have points at the end of a match is if he gets “too greedy” and tries to smack the ball so hard that it misses the table completely.
That was then.
Tonight, something deep inside me shifted. (If you have ever played ping-pong against me before, I am going to ask you to ignore that memory in order to truly picture what I am about to describe). I stepped back and bent my knees until my eyes were in line with the table. And then it began... I smashed and cracked the ball wide and low---exacting it off edges, tapping it so lightly that it barely cleared the net. Josh didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, the competition was so stiff. At one point, his whole upper body flailed onto the table for a save. We impaled ourselves on corners, cursed out loud, and slapped our paddles so hard that it stung!
First match: 21-19 to Josh
Second match: 21-18 to Betsy (marking the first time I have ever beat anyone in ping-pong, including both my grandparents)
But then, something in the air changed. Literally. I don’t know if it was the flourescent lights or some kind of mold, but I began to sneeze uncontrollably. I could barely keep my eyes open. It turned into a ping-ponger's nightmare!
Third Match 21-14 to Josh (ouch)
I convinced Josh to play one more match to prove that the first two matches were not a fluke, that it was the sneezing that got me! The sneezing by gosh!! He agreed.
Fourth match 21-11 to Josh
Being a good sportsman, I nodded and accepted that my moments of ping-pong excellence were short lived...now faded into the past like sweat bands and leg warmers.
posted by B | 2:51 AM
1 Comments:
Yeah, Elizabeth gets all excited when I let her win at things sometimes too. Way to take one for the relationship, Josh!
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