I hit rock bottom---and it was crunchy
Last week at the grocery store, the foreign “out of our price range” item of cheese was on sale: "2 for 1". We came home with 24 individually wrapped slices of New Zealand cheese and have since enjoyed cheesy delights such as: cheese on scrambled eggs, grilled cheese sandwiches, and cheese on apple slices.
On Monday, at the supermarket, I made a grave error when placing a jar of crunchy peanut butter into my shopping basket. Skippy Super Chunk----it’s cheaper than cheese. Maybe you should be required to carry a license to buy peanut butter, so that people like me cannot make the same mistake over and over. About three or four times a year I trust myself with a jar of peanut butter, but it always ends in tears.
On Monday, I had a spoonful to celebrate its presence in the cupboard. On Tuesday, I had a PB and J Sandwich for dinner...and then a heaping spoonful for desert.
Tonight at 6:30, I had a big spoonful and placed the jar in the back of the cupboard: "That’s all for me tonight." I told myself. For the next two hours, there was a steady flow of traffic between the kitchen and the couch: me and my spoon. "Okay, just a little more" quickly turned into, "well, if I’m gonna be bad, I may as well be really bad" turned into "I feel full and uncomfortable, but it still tastes good" and finally into "I should eat it all so its not in the house anymore".
Fortunately, I heard the key turn in the door at 9pm. It was Josh and I was saved! I fell to the ground in the hallway---spoon sliding across the floor (this is no joke).
"I am sooo full, I ate soo much peanut butter tonight."
"Do you want me to hide the jar?"
"…...no...there is just a little bit left."
Josh winced at my peanut butter breath.."Lets get you to bed, cause you're gonna have the shakes tomorrow."
This is true story.
On Monday, at the supermarket, I made a grave error when placing a jar of crunchy peanut butter into my shopping basket. Skippy Super Chunk----it’s cheaper than cheese. Maybe you should be required to carry a license to buy peanut butter, so that people like me cannot make the same mistake over and over. About three or four times a year I trust myself with a jar of peanut butter, but it always ends in tears.
On Monday, I had a spoonful to celebrate its presence in the cupboard. On Tuesday, I had a PB and J Sandwich for dinner...and then a heaping spoonful for desert.
Tonight at 6:30, I had a big spoonful and placed the jar in the back of the cupboard: "That’s all for me tonight." I told myself. For the next two hours, there was a steady flow of traffic between the kitchen and the couch: me and my spoon. "Okay, just a little more" quickly turned into, "well, if I’m gonna be bad, I may as well be really bad" turned into "I feel full and uncomfortable, but it still tastes good" and finally into "I should eat it all so its not in the house anymore".
Fortunately, I heard the key turn in the door at 9pm. It was Josh and I was saved! I fell to the ground in the hallway---spoon sliding across the floor (this is no joke).
"I am sooo full, I ate soo much peanut butter tonight."
"Do you want me to hide the jar?"
"…...no...there is just a little bit left."
Josh winced at my peanut butter breath.."Lets get you to bed, cause you're gonna have the shakes tomorrow."
This is true story.
posted by B | 5:42 AM
4 Comments:
Ah - the gentle seduction of minor addictions. Recently I moved the TV out of my bedroom. A little here, a little there... I don't keep computer games on my computer any more either.
A little here, a little there.
This was a great post. Your writing is wonderful.
We see that a lot around here. In fact our schools offer a G.A.R.E program (goober addiction resistance education).
The kids experiment with Reese's cups and chocolate covered buckeyes because of peer pressure and eventually, as often as not, find themselves at age 19 somewhere alone, in tears with their wrist stuck in a nearly empty Peter Pan 16oz Crunchy jar. If we only can catch them in time.
Betz,
You know who this is...it is the only other person on Earth who can truley relate to your PB addiction. I wish to stay anónimo because of the severity of my addiction. I thought that leaving the country would be a sure cure, but somehow that wonderfully creamy mix of sweet and salty has found it´s way back into my life. Luckily due to the high costs of the "product" I am able to slow down somewhat. I am glad to hear that you did buy some though..it´s amazing how it can take you home huh? At least you have skippy, we have some brand called Super USA...it can´t hold a candle to Skippy. Well, have a great weekend...and I honestly loved the post.
You peanut butter goddess!
If it's not there to be eaten, what is it there for?
Remember that wonderful food philosphy you had going when we were in the US of A, where you buy all the goodness you want and have it there in your cupboard so....what was the reason again? I forget. Was it to enjoy it whenever you wanted it or was it to binge so you wouldn't buy it again?
Either way, we're only young once - enjoy the peanut butter while it lasts.
I love you!
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